Selfish much

I would like some (unbiased if you can) feedback

So last month was Mothers Day. And I didnt actually think to text my mum because, well, its the way it is. That said though, I didnt even text Jo. I have become a slack texter. And at the end of the day I get a text from her saying "did you forget that its mothers day. i love you even if you dont" blah blah blah and what a crap day she'd had. And i just said "yeah i was busy and i forgot". In truth, I was busy cuddling cheetahs.... And dad obviously got shit about it too and i blew it off

Yesterday was my birthday. At the beginning of the day I got a few texts, one was from my mum. It took me a while before I even got around to replying to most of them, and didnt reply to hers cos i didnt think it warranted it. At the end of the day, I got a "did you get my text?" text, so i said yes and thanked her. And then i got a text from dad, asking if mum had text and did i reply?

Now. When i was 14, mum tried to kill herself. Not even really to die. But to manipulate and get attention. She said as much to dad one day. She had talked to him on the phone before he did it. And after she said something like "well i wouldnt be in hospital if you hadnt been running late". All a control/power/manipulation fucked up thing to do. Dad then stayed with her until I left home 3 years later, cos he was scared she'd do it again. And now, he still tiptoes around her. She still calls on him if she needs help. And obviously to complain about her ungrateful children, because she knows that what dad says will have more impact...

And it fucks me off so bad. Why is he still pandering to her? I had a minor hissy fit at him after his text last night, which then ended up with me feeling like an ungrateful shit. I was raised in a "if you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all" kind of way. Nice and passive aggressive... And so i dont talk to her. I dont say anything because what is the point? And then i get shit about not talking to her.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH

So am i unreasonable and ungrateful and spoiled shit? Should I get over it and pretend everything is fine?

The end of a year

So today I go to Foxton, and when I come back, I will be a year older - trippy.
Normally for my birthday I have a big cry and feel like I havent accomplished anything - and this year its not as bad as usual which is a nice change :)