Day One: Your Favourite Song
So hard. I change my mind every so often. This is simply the first one that popped into my head that I can listen to over and over and never get sick of:
In other news.....
I dont know whats going on but Im particularly down and angsty the last few days. My partner is too tired to have sex, so I cry and pack a sad and feel rejected. That sort of thing. Its first thing in the morning and we do have sex but he doesnt quite "finish", and I decide thats cos I am not good enough, and cry and pack a sad and feel rejected.
The good thing is that I sort it out in my head, and he talks me through it, and is very accepting and understanding. But that doesnt mean its ok. Its not fun for either of us, and its pissing me off. Which in turn just makes it worse cos then I am angry at myself for crying and packing a sad and the cycle keeps going.
So I think it might be time to seriously track down a counsellor and start working through this crap. For my own sake, as well as for the sake of my relationship...
On the plus side, I have a new job, doing what Im actually qualified to do (well actually the job is largely reception with vet nursing thrown in, so thats all good - a nice way to ease into it). And Ive joined a gym. And I have this nutritionist thing starting at the beginning of next month. So hopefully they will all help contribute towards a happier and healthier Candi
4 comments:
Honey, I love you, and I give you a big electronic hug.
But I have to say...
If the two of you have sex, and you don't orgasim, would it be reasonable for him to be all insecure about it? While plenty of guys DO get all needy about it, that just isn't how it works. Sometimes our bodies aren't on the same wave length as our brain. Maybe you need to talk to him about what is going on... ie, is morning sex something that suits him? I know that for me, having sex prior to lunch time just doesn't want to happen, my brain is a night time brain. And then there is my bladder... And just because you "always do" doesn't mean it suits him (the things we do at the start of a relationship do not resemble the patterns we fall into down the track). And guys get weird about sex, they think they have to be always up for it, or they aren't "a man". He might not be brave enough to come out and say it. If mornings are bad for him, have sex at night (or as soon as you walk in from work). If you can't let go of morning sex and he isn't into it... compromise. A little morning head for you might just sort you both out.
Also, I know what your sex drive is like. You are giving him a little time off each week right? Things get rubbed and sore, and depending on how quickly he produces sperm and (can't remember the name for it) that stuff that makes up the rest, he might not be able to cum or at least not much. And also it can be emotionally exhausting having large quantities of sex.
But yes, you should also talk to a counsellor (though I know finding one is tough... they might have one through your new work?) because I know you hate going, but it also really helps you. :) You can get through this. :)
Yay I can finally see this on my page and reply :)
Oh yeah I know its not at all rational. I totally do not expect him to take it personally if I dont cum.
The thing is, our sex drives match quite well which is nice. But then we just have days where one of us doesnt feel like it - tired or stressed at work or whatever...
But yes I do accept that if we do it 5 times in one day, he may not be able to cum due to not having given time for the spermatogenesis cycle to do its thing. And normally Im fine. Its just been the last little while that its been bugging me...
I have a 30 min consultation with someone in 2 weeks and we shall take it from there if all goes well...
But exercise and better eating will help with the depression side of things (as much as I try to fight having to do either lol)
For some bizarre reason, when it bugs you it just bugs you and you just can't rationalise it, right?
I get that way too... though not usually about sex (that said, you know, Mark and I aren't still in the 'first year of sex honeymoon' anymore so that makes sense, in fact, if you think back really hard, you might be able to work out what I flipped out about during that part of our relationship. Hint: I didn't know what I was doing, and you helped... but I was insecure about it regardless). Given time, you will stop flipping out (and pretty much as soon as you do, it will stop being a problem - it probably wouldn't have been an ongoing problem if you hadn't gotten worked up about it (don't take that personally, it happens to everyone about something)), you just have to decide you are going to conquer these emotions, and recognise that you get upset because Nora is trying to connect a perfectly reasonable occurance with those insecurities and self critisims that she is trying to build in you.
yeah i wish emotions were more rational....
yesh i do remember that actually... hehehe :)
yeah i guess we all have our hang ups, and i need to stop letting mine get in the way. or find a way to overcome them. silly nora....
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